Mark Wahlberg Claims That He's An Honorary Philadelphian, And There's Really Only One Way To Find Out
I love Marky Mark. I really do. The montage scene in D2: The Mighty Ducks when the fellas are cruising through LA and "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch is playing is one of the most iconic scenes in cinematic history. Ted 2 should have won an Oscar. I've got nothing but love for Mark Wahlberg.
But there's still something about this that just feels...off to me. Philly hates Boston, and it feels like Boston should hate Philly. But there's this weird little patronizing thing that Boston folks do where they "love" Philly. I can't tell if I appreciate it or if it's the most condescending shit in the world. Do they actually like us, or do they just not fear us enough to hate us?
Moral of the story here is that I just don't know how I should feel about Mark Wahlberg calling himself an honorary Philadelphian. Part of me wants to welcome him in with open arms, part of me wants to tell him to go fuck himself. So I think there's only one way to settle this once and for all.
I know he just sold the place, but I think if I got to chop it up with Marky Mark at his mansion for an afternoon then we could really get down to the bottom of this. Play through the 5-hole course a few times around. Get some tennis in. Have a few drinks by the pool. Just boys being boys. I'm sure whoever bought the place wouldn't mind giving him the keys back for a weekend. Just let the fellas have themselves a day, ya know?
Sidenote: Part of me wants to believe that Mark Wahlberg wasn't even bartending as a guest celebrity appearance. Man just loves the lifestyle.
Sidenote #2: Go Birds.